Matt: "Have you got any tattoos Noel?"
Noel: "No no no no... I just think they're rediculous"
Matt: "Really?"
Noel: "Yeah"
Matt: "Liam's got one, hasn't he? On his arm"
Noel: "I rest my case."
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Drunks, The Lot Of 'Em
Noel: "Has anyone got... anyone got any booze..?"
Russell: "No, there's not any booze! What do you think this is?! It's not 1995! What's wrong with you?!"
Matt:" You're so judgemental. I walked in with a can of Magners and it was as if I had a crack pipe"
Russell: "Other ciders are available.. What's wrong with you boys? Be professional!"
Matt: "We can have a drink without going crazy and jumping on top of a van, taking our clothes off, and punching a prostitute in the face!"
Russell: "No, there's not any booze! What do you think this is?! It's not 1995! What's wrong with you?!"
Matt:" You're so judgemental. I walked in with a can of Magners and it was as if I had a crack pipe"
Russell: "Other ciders are available.. What's wrong with you boys? Be professional!"
Matt: "We can have a drink without going crazy and jumping on top of a van, taking our clothes off, and punching a prostitute in the face!"
Russ Makes Things Difficult
Matt: You made that much harder than it needed to be
Russell: What? How?
Matt: By being a drug addict!
Russell: What? How?
Matt: By being a drug addict!
Under The Sea
Russell: If I did a stand up gig under the sea I wouldn't be in a gas rig I'd just be down there shouting my mouth off at an octopus "Hey you, do you know how many drugs I used to take? Byeeeee!"
Friday, April 2, 2010
Under The Sea
Russell: If I did a stand up gig under the sea I wouldn't be in a gas rig I'd just be down there shouting my mouth off at an octopus "Hey you, do you know how many drugs I used to take? Byeeeee!"
Only Russell May Sing
Russell - *sings* Trevor have you lived in some interesting places?"
Trevor - *starts to sing* Oh I have Russell Brannd*
Russell - "TREVOR! ONLY I MAY SING!"
Trevor - *starts to sing* Oh I have Russell Brannd*
Russell - "TREVOR! ONLY I MAY SING!"
The Revolution
Russell: "You wait, you wait until I'm all nice and properly famous then we'll have the revolution.."
Matt: "You keep saying that, it keeps getting more and more, 'Wait till I get a base on the moon!' nothing's ever going to change"
Russell: "It will mate, honest. Once I've got that moon base..."
Matt: "You keep saying that, it keeps getting more and more, 'Wait till I get a base on the moon!' nothing's ever going to change"
Russell: "It will mate, honest. Once I've got that moon base..."
Void
Russell: ...this is what I wrote, or what someone, mysterious wrote. 'Oblivious to the cliche of the void, irritated, riled, annoyed.' Right and even when she read that back she goes, "Oh that's a bad rhyme, to rhyme annoyed and void, it's called a weak rhyme. Or something like that. She goes, "Oh we have a special word for that in poetry circles it's called a gay rhyme," or something like that. Trying to use some juvenile, derogatory comment. "Oh we call that a *makes fart noises* poem, that's the special word we use." Gee, you're a poet...
Gee: She's made that up.
Russell: She's made that up! She's made it up to hurt me!
Matt: You're just bitter about this.
Russell: I'm not bitter. Then Matt's put 'What are the homeless carrying?' Which is nice you know, I've not got a problem with Matt's poems.
Matt: I was wondering why they have all them carrier bags with stuff in them.
Russell: Why have the homeless got so much stuff?! Look, if you're gonna be homeless.. COMMIT to it. Stop having so much stuff! Wandering round with a flatpack Ikea bed under one arm and a cuckoo clock under the other. Either you're homeless or you're not, GET A GRIP!
Gee: She's made that up.
Russell: She's made that up! She's made it up to hurt me!
Matt: You're just bitter about this.
Russell: I'm not bitter. Then Matt's put 'What are the homeless carrying?' Which is nice you know, I've not got a problem with Matt's poems.
Matt: I was wondering why they have all them carrier bags with stuff in them.
Russell: Why have the homeless got so much stuff?! Look, if you're gonna be homeless.. COMMIT to it. Stop having so much stuff! Wandering round with a flatpack Ikea bed under one arm and a cuckoo clock under the other. Either you're homeless or you're not, GET A GRIP!
Noel & Customs
Russell: "I bet Noel's had trouble with customs in his time, hasn't he?"
Matt: "Yeah, remember he told us a story about that -"
Russell: "- The English custom of eating with a knife and fork, for example. I've seen him ploughing through a Shepherds pie with his elbow.."
Matt: "Yeah, remember he told us a story about that -"
Russell: "- The English custom of eating with a knife and fork, for example. I've seen him ploughing through a Shepherds pie with his elbow.."
Russ & Matt's Children
When talking about Les - Russell's (American) driver
Russell - "I've got a driver cause i happen to be over here, working my hardest so that your children don't grow up in disgusting poverty, alright? so bear that in mind . . . "
Matt - "Those are OUR children !"
Russell - "I've got a driver cause i happen to be over here, working my hardest so that your children don't grow up in disgusting poverty, alright? so bear that in mind . . . "
Matt - "Those are OUR children !"
School Report
Matt: We were going along in the taxi on the way here looking for our school reports and I was saying "yeah... biology, business studies, French" and then Russell was going, "yeah... geography, swordfighting." ... SWORDFIGHTING! Can you imagine it?!
Russell: Yeah that's when I went to Italia Conti when I was sixteen. I left school, got a grant and went to Italia Conti... Oh this is good, this is for acting: "Russell Brand. What can I say about Russell that won't upset you? Really not a lot. I'm afraid he's wasted his year at the Academy; he's been to several of my classes but he's never been dressed correctly, and frankly, I became fed up with telling him. He puts very little effort into his work and what he puts in ain't up to much..." Bloody cheek.
Matt: What does that mean that you weren't dressed appropriately, how inappropriate could you be, before at a drama school, they say "that's bad?"
Russell: I was dressed as Dracula. It wouldn't have mattered but we were doing The Sound of Music! I dunno, I was just wearing my normal sort of attire, I did have that "cape of love" thing.
Russell: Yeah that's when I went to Italia Conti when I was sixteen. I left school, got a grant and went to Italia Conti... Oh this is good, this is for acting: "Russell Brand. What can I say about Russell that won't upset you? Really not a lot. I'm afraid he's wasted his year at the Academy; he's been to several of my classes but he's never been dressed correctly, and frankly, I became fed up with telling him. He puts very little effort into his work and what he puts in ain't up to much..." Bloody cheek.
Matt: What does that mean that you weren't dressed appropriately, how inappropriate could you be, before at a drama school, they say "that's bad?"
Russell: I was dressed as Dracula. It wouldn't have mattered but we were doing The Sound of Music! I dunno, I was just wearing my normal sort of attire, I did have that "cape of love" thing.
Grudge 2
(Jonathan was referring to Russell's girlfriend simply as "Grudge 2" which she acted in)
Russell: "She's not actually called Grudge 2."
Jonathan: "She is now!"
Russell: "She's not actually called Grudge 2."
Jonathan: "She is now!"
Trashing Sneakers
Russell : "I've trashed my sneakers!"
Matt: "What does it mean? Been sick on your shoes?"
Matt: "What does it mean? Been sick on your shoes?"
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