Right, Listen...

Russell: "Right, listen, right, erm, oi, listen..."

Matt: "I am listening! In fact, we all are, it's radio, they've got no choice!"

Vanity

(Trevor claimed the sin he was most guilty of was vanity)

Russell: "If you went to the gates of heaven and God asked you if you'd committed any of the seven sins and you said 'Vanity', I think he'd look you up and down and say 'Come on in mate, don't worry about it''.

Slumped In a Lift

(Russell was in America, Matt was in London. When getting ready for the show, Nick warned Russell that "Matt's pissed".)

Russell: "What? He's pissed? Pissed angry or pissed drunk? Give me an example of something he's said."

Nick: "He's slumped in a lift."

Happy New Year

Russell: "Happy new year Trev. I see you didn't get any new clothes for Christmas."

Fudge Song

This was sung to Trevor on his "special day":

Russell: "We're very sorry Trevor. We love you very muuuuch. Kiss and cuddle Trevor...GIVE HIM LOTS OF FUUUUDGE!"

Judas

(Matt had compiled a list of bad things Russell had done to call him out about on air)

Matt: "Oh and one more thing. You are a JUDAS!"

Matt The Everyman

Matt: "I drank Cider, now everyone's drinking cider. I drank Rose, now everyone's drinking Rose. I'm an everyman."

Russell: "No Matt, you're just a drunk!"

Matt Goes Gun Crazy

The boys had been target shooting with a local man, when Matt, in frustration turned towards everyone else accidentally pointing the loaded gun at them. The man teaching them put his hand up in a STOP gesture and proclaimed:

''NO! You do NOT shoot your friends!''

You've Seen Me Dance...

(During a night out on the town, some guys picked a fight with Trevor, Matt stuck up for him to avoid an actual fight. Trevor made the following remark to the ladies that were with them that night)

"Ladies, you've seen me dance but you don't wanna see me fight."

Confessions Of An Idiot

(Russell was telling a story about going to a police station after he believed he was being followed by a van, Matt later said it sounded like a script he was writing called 'Confessions of an Idiot')

Matt: "You went into a police station because a van was near you? 'There's a van following me, it keeps morphing into other cars!' "

Summer Mugging

(Trevor is telling a story about being mugged)

Trevor: "It was a summer mugging."

Russell & Matt: "Summer mugging, had me a blast!"

Smurf Jesus

Russell: "Do you think there is a Smurf Jesus?"

Matt: "I think there was....but they nailed him to a mushroom."

Living With Russell

Matt: "I'm never living with you again Russell. You wont let me eat anything but tortillas and hummus."

Cultural Review Jingle

Russell: "Matt's cultural review. Matt's ridiculous opinions. Matt grapples with culture, but ultimately uses it to try and pull birds, to try and pull biiiiiiiiiiiirds. It's not really a cultural review at all! Yeah! Matt Morgan whooo!"

The Guilded Balloon Wine Bar

(Trevor was trying to promote a gig while they were at the Edinburgh Festival)

Russell: "So it's in the Gilded Balloon, in a wine bar."

Trevor: "The GILDED BALLOON WINE BAR."

Russell: "Oh sorry!! Oh great.... all the greats have played there... Remember when Lenny Bruce was there? At the Gildedballoonwinebar.... the Gildedballoonwinebar.... GILDEDBALLOONWINEBAR!" (to infinity)

The Snowdome

Russell: "Do the snowdome! It's a dance sensation! Do the snowdome! It's sweeping the nation! Do the snowdome! Show us your boobs! Do the snowdome! Don't be so rude! It's the snowdome, snowdome, snowdooommmmeee!"

Christmas Cheer

Russell: "This must be our 11th Christmas together Matt?"

Matt: "Yeah, something like that."

Russell: "Whatever it is, what I'm trying to say is I'm sick of the sight of you."

Herbal Viagra

(After taking Herbal Viagra on air)

Matt: "Is your face really hot?"

Russell: "MY FACE IS ALIVE WITH HEAT!"

Crying At Movies

Russell: "I do cry sometimes when I watch a movie."

Matt: "Why? 'Cause you're not in them? 'Uhuhuh.. I'll never get an award for THIS!'."

Manners

Russell: "He was using lots of words that I didn't understand."

Matt: "What like?...Manners?"

Slash AH-AHHHHH

Russell: "SLASH!! AH-AHHHHH! MATT REALLY FANCIES HIM!"

The Alsatian Incident

Matt - "An Alsatian was having sex with me when I was... not having sex with me, humping me"

Russell - "Do you remember this vividly Matt?"

Matt - "No, I was told about this by my family, my nan was going 'Oh, we were very worried about you, couple of days you weren't right after this"

Russell - "Couple of days? Three decades have passed and you're still a bit odd"

Trevor - "When you see a dog now how does it make you feel?"

Matt - "Just...randy."