School Report

Matt: We were going along in the taxi on the way here looking for our school reports and I was saying "yeah... biology, business studies, French" and then Russell was going, "yeah... geography, swordfighting." ... SWORDFIGHTING! Can you imagine it?!

Russell: Yeah that's when I went to Italia Conti when I was sixteen. I left school, got a grant and went to Italia Conti... Oh this is good, this is for acting: "Russell Brand. What can I say about Russell that won't upset you? Really not a lot. I'm afraid he's wasted his year at the Academy; he's been to several of my classes but he's never been dressed correctly, and frankly, I became fed up with telling him. He puts very little effort into his work and what he puts in ain't up to much..." Bloody cheek.

Matt: What does that mean that you weren't dressed appropriately, how inappropriate could you be, before at a drama school, they say "that's bad?"

Russell: I was dressed as Dracula. It wouldn't have mattered but we were doing The Sound of Music! I dunno, I was just wearing my normal sort of attire, I did have that "cape of love" thing.

Russ In Drag

Russell: "Shut up! I'm doing an item!"

Matt: "Yeah? You're WEARING A DRESS!"

Trashing Sneakers

Russell : "I've trashed my sneakers!"

Matt: "What does it mean? Been sick on your shoes?"

Russell's Buckle Boots

Matt: "I don't like them, has your stylist seen them?"

Russell: "Uuh, actually she bought them. So..."

Matt: "She didn't."

Russell: "She bought them and she sent them on a bicycle or summit."

Matt: "I bet she went ahead fo you, thought oh, Russell's going shopping, saw them and thought oh my god he'll like those, bought them went to the coast to throw them in the sea and you bumped into her and went "Oh Sharon yoohoo! oooh what are they?"

Russell: "Oooh buckle boots!"

Dreadful

Russell: "Now you've got a dreadful headache."

Noel: "Oh really. Have I. Well you've got a dreadful fashion sense."